One stop shopping: insurance and....PORN?

In general, I'm a pretty healthy person. Not to say that I am the picture if health, more like I don't get sick enough for the doctor that often and my kids and hubby are the same. So we have health insurance mostly in case of accidents (like when I took the fast way down the stairs...). So I went in for my yearly exam (yes, that one) and got a new prescription for anti-baby pills. So I sent it off to my insurance company's new mail order company and thought everything was copacetic.

So a week or more goes by when I get this call from a computer that says we can't fill your prescription and you'll get a letter explaining why. What? Huh? No number, no "call customer service" nothing. Well since I know this is the only prescription I have pending with this new company, I'm a little freaked, but there's still more than 3 weeks to go on my current pack so I'm not frantic. I look on all the paperwork I have from the company, no telephone number, but there is a website. I visit the website and find that in order to call them, I have to input the customer number from my card. WHAT? I haven't gotten a card from them!! So I get out my insurance card. Call the number on the card for member inquiries and here's the message: "Hey big boy..." ????? I hang up, surely I have dialed the wrong number, it is toll free right? So I dial again. "Hey big boy..." First off, I have a problem since I'm not a big boy. Secondly, how could I get it wrong TWICE. So I dial a third time. This time like a 3 year old who is just learning the numbers. "Hey big boy" Holy CRAP!

By now, I'm getting mad. I'd actually say pissed, infuriated, really really peeved. Between having a useless computer call me and now the porn, it's really getting to me. So I head to the website to find another number. Any other number will do at this point. I'm sure my BP is skyrocketing. Probably I'm gonna need authorization for admittance to some sort of cardiac ward. I find another number, call it and get a very pleasant woman on the line. The only problem with that is that I don't want pleasant. I want someone who is just as pissed as I am at this injustice! So she needs my information. There is nothing worse than having to remember your zip code when you're mad. Well there are worse things, but at the time it sure you wouldn't have convinced me. So before I can get the whole thing out (name, address, telephone, capital of Yugoslavia) I just blurt out "I just want you to know I'm mad" and proceed to tell her the whole story culminating with the porno number on the insurance card. She was extremely apologetic about the number. It's being corrected, we'll send out new cards, that kind of stuff. So as she is looking up the telephone number for the prescription place, I must have calmed down because I start giggling. It really is ridiculous isn't it? Which gets her to giggling. It really is funny in hindsight. I get the number and call the place. They can't tell me why they can't fill it.....HUH? and give me another number. Which I find out after I call that it's my insurance company. Freaking-A. So get this. Since it's a mail order company and they send me 3 months at a time, the prescription that I have is not right. It's for 28 days with 11 refils, but the company wants 90 days with 3 refils. I guess they just don't get that it's the same damn difference....